In contrast I also spent time yesterday with a colleague I've known for years who, with her current boyfriend, selected the "nuclear option" when boyfriend fell down the stairs drunk, and because of his brush with death and disability finally quit drinking. I also talked with an old colleague and friend who has retired and loving her leisure, but is quite perturbed with the daily morning visit from one of her husband's friends who comes for coffee. Neither of them want the guy there, but neither has the incliniation or ability to change the situation. They just hate it and keep on going. Every day.
I am struck by the commitment of my old friend to live authentically, use her assets--change before drama necessitates it, change instead of enduring daily distaste, change each fall. I am intrigued by the simplicity of setting a date to call it quits when asset become liability, and the courage to pull the plug needs a boost.