There is one kind of resistance to change that gets under my skin, especially when I see it in myself. Enter student “K” (smart, loving, responsible) who still haunts me. I know everyone finds their own answers—actually the only answers that work. And no one can possibly represent K’s viewpoint but K, but it was difficult to grasp her lack of will to alter her life. I hugged her while she streamed silent tears of resign. She is blinded by her own reality and too tired to make a move. I wasn't surprised when she opted out of group meetings dwarfed by work and home responsibilities. For the present and immediate future she steadied herself in the life she knows. I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed.
(If we pay attention the lessons will come.) I met S, a spiritual guide type who makes her living partly by leading tours and selling the photos captured in the moment in
. We dug deeply
into conversation from our meeting. She planted a thought about K that has been
composting ever since. She wondered if I was able to search my own life and
find a corollary way I am stuck, and by working on my own stuckness increase K’s
ability to get unstuck--a kind of karmic energy inserted into my interconnected
A quick examination of my own life pretty quickly uncovered my similarities to K. I tend to feel overwhelmed with outside events (aging parent, people, deadlines, sometimes money, the long list of responsibilities and paperwork) and use that as my excuse not to write (or write everyday). It feels a lot like being a victim of my own choices. “Victim” has it roots in the early religious notions of suffering, sacrifice and death in the ancient civilizations, especially in Babylonia,
Greece, and . When it comes to making changes, I occasionally and quietly assume the victim stance. A-a-r-g-h. Rome
But I’m in the mood for transformation and the promise of a new year adds motivation. I can make a change in my own behavior, and if it somehow helps K so be it. For me change means scheduling and guarding regular time for thinking, writing, and editing. In my life, what gets scheduled gets done. So I went through my fresh, clean calendar and committed in ink large blocks of creative time through June (a good time for a progress check). Send me good thoughts for making it stick. I’m off to a good start. K wherever you are and whatever you are doing I hope you are benefiting somehow.