“Falling in love” means giving up any preconceived intentions of the other person and accepting what you see, feel, hear and intuit.
I’m not sure what’s happening to me, but I keep falling in love. Yesterday I fell in love with a tiny bird flitting among the branches in a cacophony of twits and tweeters. On Monday it was an engineer I met for the first time to talk about potential work (I actually fell for his sons in the same morning). The Friday before it was a colleague I have spent some time with, but on that particular Friday I was able to delve deeper and learn more about him.
I don’t have a conscious step-wise method for falling for these creatures, but in each instance I can identify some things that happened. It each case it began with curiosity. In the first instance I was working in my vegetable garden when a flock of tiny Bushtits invaded the cherry tree close by. I put down my gloves and fetched my camera (with the long lens) and pulled them closer. I surrendered to their hanging, prying, picking, gleaning and constant banter of soft chirps. I felt awed by their tiny bodies and immense beauty. I accepted it was okay to take a break and enjoy their presence. And poof--I was in love!
In the case of the engineer and colleague, they are both authentic, smart, heartfelt men. They were both unafraid to speak their truth. They were both honorable in their intentions and passion for their work. In each instance I was curious and wanted to know more. I surrendered to their perspective and how each influenced my own. I felt awe for sharing a space and expanding my view. I accepted without feeling envious, judgmental, or fearful. And poof--I was in love!
I interact with a variety of groups who are working hard to adopt an equity and diversity agenda. It's a difficult journey with lots of obstacles beyond recruitment and hiring. I can't help but think that at the root of our diversity and equity issues is our inability to be curious about others, surrender to what they have to offer, feel awe in the accumulation of their perspective, accept them for who they are, and poof exchange our judgement and exclusion for love!
I can't wait to fall in love again soon.
“I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see, if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street and even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think after seeing them at their most vulnerable you wouldn't be able to help falling in love with them.”